So...now onto the week that was stolen from my life, due to the very little memory that I have of my time in hospital, what went on, what was said or even exactly what happened. So in theory, that week was stolen from my life by my accident, as I have no fixed memory of it, and that still continues to plague me.
I was in the RD&E hospital from when I got there by ambulance Monday (13/02/10) afternoon/evening, all of Tuesday and most of Wednesday, but none of which I really remember. My best friend came to visit me on the Tuesday and the Wednesday, after I had apparently rung her twice to tell her exactly the same thing that I was in hospital on Monday evening then Tuesday morning! My mum came to see me Tuesday and Wednesday I think as well, as at some point I must have given the doctors her number as my next of kin, but I vaguely remember any of that. I do remember them asking me over and over again for my next of kin but I couldn't figure out how or what they wanted from me, it just felt like I was on another planet. I don't even recall the amount of pain I was in or the amount of tests that the doctors did, which is probably a good thing! It wasn't until Wednesday 17th that I finally had a CT scan on my head, a whole 48 hours after I had been admitted. It was my continued confusion and amnesia that triggered them to do a scan on my head, after they knew I had collapsed and smashed it on the floor. And I seem to remember my hair was all matted at the back, presumably from blood, and I know I must have been bleeding from my ear as it was full with dried blood. Why they took 48 hours to scan my head I do not know, as I was bleeding from my ear for god's sake!!! But the result from the CT scan were not good, and I seem to remember a nurse trying her best to tell me what they had found, but I couldn't understand very well. Basically the CT scan revealed I had a haematoma (blood clot) to the left temporoparietal area of my skull, so basically a blood clot behind my left temple area, just above my ear (shown in the photo by the large red square). I had to fall and smash my head on the thinnest part of the skull!!! This was obviously the part of my head that had smashed the floor first, as it was the most damaged. I also managed to fracture the left petrous temporal bone, which is basically the part of bone behind the ear canal (shown on the photo by the small red square). This was caused from the fall and trauma from the accident, which showed I must have gone down like a lead weight and smashed my head quite dramatically.
Now, a blood clot is not good to have, let alone to have it in your skull! The blood clot however wasn't in the brain, but between my skull and the surface of my brain. A blood clot in that spot would have been causing pressure on my brain as it would have had no where to go as there is only so much space between the brain and the skull. And I would be suffering from bruising and swelling to my brain, from the force as my head hit the ground and from the pressure building up from the blood clot next to my brain. So, I needed surgery to remove the blood clot and relieve the pressure in my brain, as if not, the outcome would have not been good. So I was immediately whisked away from my mum and best friend and transferred to Derriford Hospital in Plymouth that evening, as that hospital is the neurological centre for the South West, and had to have surgery there.
Now, being whisked away from your mum to have possible surgery on your brain, without ever being in hospital before or having an operation is a scary, scary, SCARY thing to have happen to you!! I just remember saying goodbye to mum and my best friend, and being shoved into the back of an ambulance...all I could do was cry, and wonder what was going to happen, as at the time, I don't think I had been told that I was definitely going to have surgery. Again, I don't remember much of the journey to Plymouth, or how long it took....just that the paramedic who was sat with me did his best to try and cheer me up and to stop me from crying. So, I spent a very lonely night in Derriford, in the high dependency unit (HDU), hooked up to a monitoring machine I think, that had my heart rate and such on it. I think I was visited a lot in that night by nurses, but like in Exeter, I only have a vague memory of what was going on. So the morning of the 18th February came, and the day of my operation. I am still not sure when they told me I was having the operation, and what they were actually going to do. All I knew is that I was having an operation on my brain to remove the blood clot! It was a very long and lonely day, drifting in and out of sleep and possibly consciousness....as I really don't remember much of the daytime at all. Apart from visits from nurses, doctors and anesthetists, getting me ready for surgery and asking me questions and such like. I also had lots of text messages from my family and friends wishing me well for surgery, to which left me in tears due to the support and love I got from each message. Not only did their words get me through the loneliness of that day, but I am, even to this day, indebted to them from the support that they gave me throughout the whole horrific experience. Finally, somewhere between 4pm and 5pm, I went for theatre and had a left craniectomy and evacuation of extradural haematoma. I only know the time of my surgery from my dad as he posted an update to all my friends on my wall on facebook. During this time my soul spent the time fighting against the drugged up nightmare of the anaesthetic, which was far from the awakening dream of reality. I think it only lasted a few hours or so, and I eventually came round to a lovely nurse sat right next to me saying hello and shoving some morphine into my veins..fab!! The next thing I recall is being sat up in bed, back in the HDU, and seeing the best sight ever at the entrance to the ward; my mum! She was getting information on how the operation went and how I was from the doctor. I don't remember anything else that evening, but mum has told me that when she walked over to my bed, I just burst into tears when she hugged me. That night I was still hooked up to a monitoring machine, had to have oxygen and had hourly ob's, but hardly remember much of the night. I then don't remember anything until the next day, in the afternoon, when I got another fabulous surprise, not only did my mum visit me again, but my dad, sister, brother-in-law and nephew came to see me too. This was a fabulous sight, to see them all walking into the small ward I was on. I must have looked a sight though as I had numerous spaghetti junctions coming out of me, due to the drips, drains and various tubes going in and out of my arms and head! But they stayed for a good hour I think, and it was fab to see everyone and have a natter. My 14 month old nephew kept everyone amused as he just wanted my grapes my mum had brought me and just kept eating them! But I didn't much care that he was eating them, as it was just fabulous to see everyone.
I spent the next few days sleeping mainly, apart from being awake at meal times, drug rounds and when the nurses needed to check my ob's. I just spent the weekend sleeping really. I knew I was getting more like myself when, I woke up at 6am on Saturday (20/02/10) morning and I was grumpy as hell! I was moved into a normal ward, in the early hours of the day after my surgery. It was only a small ward, and the other women in there were friendly, and we did all chat a bit after we all got a bit more like ourselves after our different surgeries. It was fairly quiet anyway, but as I could only lie on my my right side, I covered up my good ear, so I couldn't hear anything at all...so sleeping wasn't an issue.
So it got to Sunday...and I was getting bored, grumpy and fed up....a sign I was getting better! One of my mates came to see me, as well as my mum. Which was fab as I had spent Saturday all on my own as no-one could get to visit me. Apart from that I slept and tried to eat food. But I knew Monday was the next day, and the doctor had said there was a possibility I could go home!
A note I have to say again is the amazing support I got from my friends and family throughout my time in hospital. Not only did I receive many wonderful and beautifully written text messages, but as I also kept people up to date via facebook on my mobile, I got many messages of support on my wall. I was so glad to be able to do that, as I got so many lovely messages left by friends when I changed my statuses and on my wall; it really kept me going and helped me through the darkness of the night times, the loneliness of the day times, and through the sheer terror I felt before the operation. It really shows you how much you are loved, when something really traumatic happens to you, and shows you how amazing your family and friends are. It has also shown me who my real friends are, and I was so touched to know I have so many. If any of you are reading this (you know who you are), I am so grateful for your amazing words of support, you helped me through my horrific week and continue to do so, and I love you all very dearly!
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